News on LTS

its too fookin boring trying to type this stuff every day - have a look on f***book for the4 news and pictures.

11 January 2010 - After the hedonism of Torino the tour couldn’t get any better, could it?.... could it????? On a high, the journey
from Torino to Genova, the giffer base for 2 days was made... checked in to the quaint little Hotel Colombo,
nothing to do with the dodgy eyed, raincoat wearing detective, more to do with Christopho Colombo the intrepid
explorer, who used to live just at the top of the hill... lovely..

Time for lunch.. A classic Italian, family run restaurant just round the corner, found the boys tucking into some
amazing Italian grub... FANTASTICO! Great start to the Como, Genova leg of the jaunt. Later the brains of the
outfit, TP & GJ indulged in a game of chess while the stupid one, who can only just play draughts and as found
out the night before table football, watched on baffled, until Big Mark popped out of the lift with a cheery, "Oh
you're here then", nice to see you too big fella.. The plan was that TP and GJ's giffer chicks, along with Miss
Gifferette herself were to arrive that very afternoon and accompany the giffers to the Como gig. The yet to be
crowned queen of Genova, Lesley, was still ensconced in her room waiting for the other laydees to arrive, oh
dear, trouble a foot for the gifferettes, their plane had to land at Pisa instead of Genova due to low cloud, they
were going to have to get a coach from Pisa to Genova then hire their car, make it to the hotel, beautify
themselves and then make it to the Como gig by themselves... gulp!

The boys, now four strong left poor Lesley in the hotel awaiting the gifferettes arrival, meanwhile the boys made
it to Como where they were met by Mr Mario, quickly followed by the gorgeous Rebelettes, drinks abound, lots of
clinking glasses and some port later, they bring out an LTS cake, oh yes they do! The boys also receive some
silk ties, classy.. celebrations are a little subdued as everyone is worried about the girlys back in Genova,
especially Mark, god forbid they don’t get there in time and Lesley is stuck in the hotel by herself all night...
heaven help us all...... a phone call, wait, can it be, they have arrived at the hotel and will make it to Como after all!!!! Phew, phew, phew, in fact, phew all round. Drinks and pizza and bits and pieces can be enjoyed now and they were.

Off to the venue, glad the boys had their thermal socks on coz it was freeeezing, both inside and out. More drinks,
more pizza, more friends arriving. The Smodati boys arrive and the crew is complete. What a great night,
Smodati played a blinder (see them at Camber rally this year, girls, you will love em, I'm reliably informed by
panting gifferettes). LTS bang out the tunes like machine gun bullets and knock everyone dead in their path...
COMO GIFFERED!

Morning breaks in Genova and New Years Eve and Lesley's birthday is upon us. Where does the time go!!? TP
and Tracie Giffer, whose family hail from Genova go off to meet up with some relatives, GJ, Margo Giffer and
Miss Gifferette shoot off for a bite to eat and PB wanders around waiting for Mark and Lesley to surface as they
had arranged to meet for lunch as it was Lesley’s 30th birthday, I’m sure that what she said anyway.. After
seeing the sights of Genova M&L finally turn up but too late for lunch as it had already been had with a nice
bottle of wine to wash it down, thank you!

Arrangements had been made to meet the Rebelettes or the Gorgeous Rebelettes as they shall from hereby
be known at 4pm. 4pm came around and so did the GR. More pizza is offered and drinks bought in a lovely little
square when, out of nowhere, with no warning at all, they produce, like a rabbit from a hat a typical Genovese
birthday cake for Lesley, how sweeeet... it was like a rock cake, I don’t mean it was hard but oh you know what I
mean! As the afternoon turned to evening the pre-party party got underway at a little bar, champagne flowed and
the bond between the GR's, Smodati (see them at Camber Rally this year) and LTS grew tighter.. the only thing
worrying some of the party, Tracie Giffer in particular, was the amount of banging going on, now you’re making
your own jokes up here I know!! Bangers, fireworks going off all around and in the little ”avenues and alleyways"
they sounded like huge bombs going off. Not one to miss out on some entertainment PB became the chief LTS
banger thrower and a constant source of the jitters for Tracie Giffer, who very nearly succumbed and lit one of her own, but chickened out at the last minute. Bangers courtesy of the very English looking Foxy Fox of Smodati (see them at Camber Rally this year) oh what fun!!.. I don’t think the council will be too pleased though as PB managed to blow some drainpipe up, ho hum, shit happens! It turned out it was munch time again so the LTS
crew made its way through the "avenues and alleyways" until a suitable place was found that would seat all the
assembled giffers, more pizza, more drinks, more laughs, more bangers, more singing ensued, "forget the gig,
lets just stay here all night!!" no no no, the LTS crew move onto the Lucrezia bar for the nights entertainment,
more bangers down the "avenues and alleyways" more singing, what a great night so far...

The club was like a cavern, those walls were gonna sweat tonight. With the club full up and jumping to the
sounds of the DJs beat, the chimes ring out for 2010 and lots of Buon Anno or bananas, if its easier to
pronounce, commence. Time for LTS to take to the stage.... electrifying, the crowd surging backwards and
forwards, side to side, with help from our Lesley who managed to push the whole surging crowd in the
opposite direction to where they wanted to go... now that’s Giffer!

Chants of LTS LTS LTS go up after every song... except during one song, when someone, who was pissed and
throwing up before the night had even started got a bit shirty, the details are sketchy but a fight started and then
lots of pushing and shoving continued until LTS stopped playing, Tracie Giffer, being a native told them they
were "Bastards, Bastards, Bastards" and TP told them "If they want to fight - fuck off outside and fight"... "We will
now calm it down and play something a little bit more sedate... AT THE WEEKEND...1...2...3...4...." sweat
dripping from the ceiling, the walls, noses, the moshing continued, the LTS LTS LTS LTS chants continued and
then the last chord rang out, the last cymbal crash and the show was over - but not the night.

Northern Soul and 60’s beat was dished out throughout the night until 6:00am, lasting memories, Lesley
singing bubbles at anyone who would listen, which was everyone, how could they not? Big Mark asleep in the
club, then taking 3 hours to say goodbye to everyone in Genova, the fight - 1979 babyyy, the bangers, the people,
Te Amo!! Fuck it, everything will be a lasting memory... the LTS crew walking the "avenues and alleyways" of
Genova will be forever in this scribes head!! I can’t name everyone but want to thank Chiara & Mario for looking
after the Giffers so very very well. So well in fact that we are gonna go back next NYE and do it all over again!!!
Thanks to all the Rebelettes and all the Smodati (see them at Camber Rally this year). WE ARE THE LTS CREW!! Phew, cor blimey, drop into bed at well past 7am only to realise that the journey to Berlin starts in 4 hours time... jeez!

Berlin, a wintery landscape of white tipped trees and snow covered buildings; everything looks so much nicer in
the snow doesn’t it?

Wild at Heart, the venue, is rock 'n' roll through and through. The kids started slowly to arrive, as they do in Berlin
but it was a steady stream until the bar was heaving and bursting at the seams.. Support band The Pikes did a
good job (you can’t see them at Camber Rally, that’s Smodati). LTS fight their way threw the crowd to play a
blinding set to a crowd of mods, punks, skins and suedheads as well as 'normal' looking kids.. Who I might
add, all knew the words to the songs from the new LP, The Sound of Giffer City, available now on Time for Action
Records from http://www.facebook.com/l/da057 or www.longtallshorty.moonfruit.co.uk It took a good 15
minutes to get from the stage to the dressing room trying to push past all the kids who all wanted to stop and
congratulate the Giffers on a great show. and then, just like that, it was all over.... the giffer tour had come to an
end on an amazing high in Berlin with 6 other shows that brought the house down and the best NYE ever ever
ever..... FANTASTICO!!! BRAVO!!! ENCORE!!!.............PREGO!

07. January 2010 - What giffer tour that was!!!

7 gigs in 8 days, taking in Germany and Italy as well as the sights of Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Netherlands
and France..
 
DJazz in Duisburg, Germany was the first stop and the kids didn't let LTS down. Mods, Punks, Skins,
Suedeheads all in attendance... and all went away completely Giffered...DUISBURG GIFFERED

Up and out of the hotel at 6:30am for the long drive to Lucca in Italy the next day. Worth the drive though as the
walled city was stunning and the club was packed. Kids kissing the stage, stage diving and moshing like
maniacs was the order of the day and made for a hell of a gig. Lucca, Giffered!

After a futile trip round Pisa trying to find the tower, "I think we saw the top of it", the giffers headed for Roma 3
hours down the road. On arriving at the hotel, motel, not Holiday Inn, LTS bumped into some Giffer mods from
Rimini and beyond, Mr Rimini Lambretta, Dean Orton no less.... the Roma metro looks just like the NYC subway so obviously some rapping, break dancing, spraying some graffitti and generally behaving befitting the Giffers they are, ensued on their way into the city centre. Colosseum found and photographed, "see, it's just half a building, why dont they turn it into a market or something?"...... " it doesn't have any floors".... "oh"... a little cultural
exchange between Mr Perfect and Gentleman John there for you.. Jim was happy that he had at least seen
something cultural instead of the inside of a hotel room for a change. A big mention at this point for Bruno who
travelled 900km for the gig all the way from somewhere unspellable & unpronouncable... prego! A LTS myth was
laid to rest tonight too: it had been told, that In Roma, there was a young girl with a LTS tattoo on her arm. Could
this be true? TP was doubtful, until the girl, and her arm with the "On The Streets Again" tattoo came through the
door and was bundled to where the boys were sitting to show off the tatt... Dean was heard to pronounce
several times, "I told you, I told you!!"

Coming on stage to the sound of "The Self Preservation Society" from the Italian Job and launching into 'That
Aint All' as Mr Caine exclaimed about "only blowing the bloody doors off", well, not only did they blow the bloody
doors off, they blew the bloody roof off the place too. During said opening number the drums sounded a little off,
in fact they were off, the top 2 toms had come right off and were laying on the floor, then the floor tom snapped
off its stand and also ended up on the floor, being the professionals they are, the giffers just soldiered on as if
nothing had happened, in fact I don't even know if TP or GJ even noticed... ROMA..GIFFERED!!!

Next morning has been descibed by Dean Orton as the most Rock 'n' Roll breakfast he has ever witnessed. This
was due to TP daring to have pushed the button on the coffee machine more than the allotted once.. bring forth
several tuts and utterances from the jumped up pot washer which in turn lead to TP barking "fuck off you tosser"
several times each getting progressively louder until the hotel owner came in and gave the little tit a right good
bollocking, exclaiming, "dont you know who that is???" ahh breakfast sorted then off to Torino.. ps, JP picked up
a new nickname in Roma given to him by Isabella, Deans wife.. Paddington Bear... how cute!

Anarchist squatters dont normally serve up fantastic spaghetti and mouth watering, hand made, ravioli but that's
what happened in Torino, the club was run and owned by a load of anarchic squatters and what a pleasant
bunch of giffers they were. Food was amazing and TP found he had a talent (another talent) for table football,
unfortunately GJ & PB didn't have the same talent so had to watch TP win and win and win. The kids were great
and football banter was had, especially with the young man with a Luton Town scarf on!!! what's that all about?
Support band was Tailor Made and they did a great set including in their soundcheck their version of "On The
Streets Again"... nice!

LTS hit the kids right between the eyes, not literally of course, that would be assault, but musically, until not one
of them is standing still or sweating buckets... TORINO GIFFERED!

PART TWO (COMO, NYE IN GENOVA & BERLIN) TO FOLLOW AFTER THE WEEKEND.................................................

stay tuned kids.

2. Decermber 2009 - Bugger me it's December already - That means it only a few weeks before we head of on
tour and a few days before that, 23rd December to be exact, were having an invitation only Christmas Party
own in Brighton - if you're interested in coming email us for an email with the secret details. Why you could stay
overnight - get up in the morning have all the Christmas Shopping done by 12 - then straight to the pub - what
more do you want - LTS and all the prezzies and plently of time for drinking!!

29. November 2009 - Apologies are in order for not paying due care and attention to the newspage. This is due
to the cold, the wet and the taking of drugs... Back in five minutes...

That's better!! - not much news to report apart from Jim has finally let us into the secret about the Christmas
Party - It's on the 23rd December - where it is - he is yet to tell us - but aparently it's free to get in if you have
an emailed invitation - to get one - send us an email and we'll send it along.

22. November 2009 - Tony's jealous - he was saying to me the other day that he's envious of Barry White "That
mans caused a population boom all on his own accord. Imagine how many times people have shagged to his
toonz you can count on one finger how many times people have shagged to LTS - especially now as Tray has
said no more Anit CND in the bedroom" Whatch out for a new direciton from LTS - deep soul and heavy funk -
now it's Once, Twice, Three times a Giffer.

16. November 2009 - What a night at the 100 Club last night - The Lazmbrettas were on top form as well as The
Teanbeats with Huggy not only wearing a green tonic suit but having his hair done especially for the occaision
(rumours that Huggy has taken to wearing a syrup are totally unfounded he had to have his head massaged,
conditioned, blow dried and backcombed by a nubile young laydee to get that look - he suffers for his art, you
know!) Good to see the Purple Hearts down there and special mention must go out to the top mod bassist Jeff
Shadbolt. Special thanks also go out to Kiria for joining the lads on stage for Turn It Up - Watch it HERE and
mention of the night must go out to Brian "The Oldest Giffer In Town" Maxine - who also managed to stop Kiria
removing one of her own CD's from the merchandising stall - this led to a total mismatch of a wrestling hug
between Kiria I(6'2" in the3 red corner) Brian (5'7" in the blue corner) but when he submitted - he went in so far
 he needed a snorkel to breath but at least came out smiling!!

15. November 2009 - Great gig down in Copthorne last night - the kids loved it - unfortunately none of the girls
took up the advice and wore a bikini for the evening but there was still some stunners there which is what it's all
about. Thanks to Engliosh Karl for spinning some top revival tunes and Gel for organising it all. Thanks again for
both of them joining us on stage for a rendition of Win Or Lose and singing the vocals - watch out Tony they did a
good job. See you all down the 100 Club tonight for LTS, The Teanbeats and The Lambrettas.

4. November 2009 - The weekend's here and it's as wet as an Otters arse don't despare come on down to the
Copthorne Social Club for some Giffer Punk - I'm reliably informed it's going to be 90 degress and sunny
- so girls don't forget the bikini's!

12. November 2009 - Jim's making plans for a Long Tall Shorty Christmas Party but it's so secret he won't tell us
- if anybody finds out let us know!

11. November 2009 - Only three days to go before Saturdays gig at the Last Act Of Defiance Scooter Cub do in
Copthorne - Then Sunday night back to the 100 Club with The Teanbeats and The Lambrettas - have it!

10. November 2009 - Filming for Garry Bushell's Rudeboy Sounds went well last night - the lads were on fire and
watch out for interesting relevations regarding Tony's private life away from Giffer Punk - we'll let you know where &
when i's up on the net.

07. November 2009 - Check out the review of last weeks gig at the Fiddlers Elbow with the Purple Hearts
HERE

6. November 2009 - Well Guy Fawke sThursday has been and gone and it looks like the weekends sparklers
will be going out as soon as you light them - unless - Top Giffer Tip Of The Day - Light Them Indoors - It's much
more fun to see you family run away in horror! Having an Messiah Like grasp of the future Big Tone has hot-
footed it off to Antwerp this weekend. He's passed off the idea to Mrs T as a romantic weekend break, but told
this news page "I'm taking some T-Shirts and CD's and when she wants to go off in the afternoons to look in
the shops and church's and stuff I'm going to set up a stall in the old town and flog em, after all I was there for
the afternoon earlier this year so I've seen it. Then in the evenings, I'll take her out for dinner then we'll go round
a few of the live venues, chat up the promoters and see if I can flog a few more"

04. November 2009 - Always looking forward, never looking back (or just sometimes to make sure you're not
being followed.) Were looking forward to the filming on Monday at the Bridge House @ 5pm - if you want to come
along and watch the filming of Shorty playing live and being interviewed by Garry Bushell - you're welcome. I am
reliably informed the bar will be open!

02.November 2009 - Top night at the Fiddlers last night – and most importantly I’m sure loads of cash was
raised for the Kids Are Alright Foundation and as you know we “Do it for the kids”

The Purple Hearts were on top form and special thanks has to go our to Bob Manton for joining us on stage for
a very special rendition of I’ve Got Mine. Thanks also to the lovely Kiria for jumping up and down and singing
with us (good to have somebody on stage who can actually sing – Ed). The Roll of Honour also includes: Dave
Cairns from Secret Affair, Ken and Huggy from the Teanbeats, Gary Lamin from Cock Sparrow/Bermondsey
Joyriders (who kindly gave me a copy of his latest CD – but we still wanted a tenner for ours – no swapysee
Gary!) Tobias from Die Prinzen, TrAcey for being the prettiest Modette there, Mark for being the tallest and Toni
for trying on every T-Shirt in every size before saying "I'll have a CD Thanks" I could go on but most of all thank
you, the kids - without you it wouldn’t be worth it!!

1. November 2009 - Well it's November already and that means that it's closer to the end of year tour and, of
course, tonights the night for the record launch party at the Fidderls Elbow with our mates the Purple Hearts
also playing. Remember if you're on the guaranteed entry l;ist get there before 8:15 to ensure you get in as it's
going to be rammed in there! Don't forget the special surprise guests from a Mod Legends (and I'm not talking
about Jeff The Fish here!) and up and coming star of the future. Don't forget it's for a charity and the bands are
only doing it for expenses (so if you see a pile of Jerry cans of petrol we're not going to start a riot it's the
expenses to get home) - we've even got to pay for our own beer! so give generously. Check back tomorrow
or details of how it all went.

30. October 2009 - 5-4-3-2-1 the weekend starts here – at least it did a couple of hours ago but got sidetracked
by a certain house in the street – not sure who owns it but I think his name is public.

Well it’s tomorrow - it’s Halloween so you can go out dress up and demand sweets with menaces from all
the neighbours you don’t like or if you prefer demand money with menaces, but that incurs a possible gaol
sentence or if you prefer get on down to tbe Bridge House for some scary goings on, which will include: Jim
with a dead cat stuck to his face; John in a silly hat; Tony with a pointy one; Scoops with a pumpkin strapped to
face (too tight to buy a mask); the Bushmeister looking dapper in a DJ and Go Go looking even more dapper
holding his strapper in a cat suit or should that be Go Go in a cat suit holding his strapper - either way - it gets
me going!!

If you can recover enough from that, then get on down to the gig of the year at the Fiddlers on Sunday night – the
album launch party with LTS, Operator 6 and THE PURPLE HEARTS and and and Eddie P on the decks what
stormer it’s going to be. No promises of Go Go in a Cat Suit (but if she gets enough requests she might just
don the black one MEEEOOOWW!!) but we do promise some very special guests. If you don’t make it, you’ll
 just have to make up lies about it in twenty years time “I remember when LTS and Operator 6 and
 THE PURPLE HEARTS all played in this dingy little pub in Camden in 2009” - 200 people in there, 10,000
memories - GIFFER

29. October 2009 - Garry Bushell's latest podcast is up on the tinternet click HERE   to listen to sounds from LTS
and The Gonads and also what Max Splodge has to say about Tony.

27. October 2009 - Lately we've been making plans - for more tour dates next year, here, there any everywhere, a
Gifferness Party just before we bugger off to Europe, A limited edition run of Giffer knickers for the ladies
Christmas stockings, (which of course involves a serious amount of studious research looking at pictures of
ladies in stockings and sometimes knickers), new badges and a concept album. For more news as it as it
breaks watch this space.

25. October 2009 - Last nights shenanigans in the House of Oi! were truly memorable - apart form, that is, for
the geezer who was knocked out cold during the Gonads set . He proably woke up in Crawley Hospital with a few
questions like, "who am I?", "where am I?', 'how did I get here?' - but by walkng up in the "Crawley Hilton" after a
free nights B&B- He knows he had a good time!

24. October 2009 - Tonights gig of the night is the closing party of the House Of Oi! in Crawley - with the Gonads
headlining, they say they're going to bring the house down, which they might as well because it will be closed
tomorrow anyway. It all kicks off at 4pm and there's tons of bands playing. So if your granny likes to pogo and
is up for the challenge to drink the bar dry bring her down she won't be dissapointed.

Sad news about Liam Mayer who passed away this week - a top bloke who always had the best E's around.

22. October 2009 - Super Mario has only gone and pulled it off!! He's lined up an excellent gig as Music Sound
in Como for the 30th December, supported by the excellent Smodati and is lining up some top DJ's to spin the
toonz for the evening. The new T-shirts are in and will be up on the site as soon as we have found a suitable
model Go Go strripped off to wear one at last nights rehearsal but unfortunately we didn't have a camera -
shame!!

20. October 2009 - Here's a quote from the book Jim's writing - Ben and the art of Vespa maintenance - "Giffer is
something that happens while others are making plans" .

19. October 2009 - Finally, Finally, yes fucking finally!!!!!!!!! We’ve got the CD’s, We’ve got the LP’s they're black
and blue and so’s the language! We’ve got the beer and made sure the opener works – and it does!!!!!

What more for the Giffer revolution!? A Bentley (Tone’s had one), a Roller (Tone’s had one), A Sunbeam Alpine
(Tone’s had one), 3 E-Type’s (Tone’s had them), A couple of XJS’ (Tone’s had them), A DeLorean, (Tone’s had
one) and a 1973 Ferrari 400 (Tone’s had one) and now it’s a DIESEL – but it’s a Jag-OO-Arr!!!!

Get it on!!!!!

The Giffer Revolution starts now!! Don't go to work and sign on - Fuck me we've got 3 million giffers arleady!!!!

18. October 2009 - Hopefully not indicative of a change of direction for LTS, but Tony informs me he’s just
bought a 1968 Telecaster (As I said before Tone buying guitars isn’t news!! – Ed). But this one was previously
owned by the Power-pop group, The Jags. Older readers might remember the massive hit in 1979 with the
deliriously catchy, "I've Got Your Number Written on the Back of My Hand" – Obviously written before the days of
mobile phones, I’m surprised they didn’t call it “My pigeon knows where you live”.

Tony says “This isn't my first brush with The Jags because when I was in the Upstarts, I responded to an ad in
the back of Melody Maker for a Marshall Speaker Cab and upon collecting it at a dodgy drug den in Clapham,
the guy told me he had been the guitarist in them and sure enough on the back of it "THE JAGS" was stenciled
in white paint.” – but perhaps he just wrote that on to get a better price!

Tone’s new guitar comes complete with Flightcase again stenciled "THE JAGS".

The worrying part is that next LP might become annoyingly poppy, please send in HIGH offers to take this
instrument off his hands! If you can’t afford a high offer just send in small amounts of cash and a note begging
him not to play it.

17 October 2009 - A message from our Giffer Leader :

To our Postmen. Thanks very much for the late delivery of our LP's and CD's, because of you idle bastards the
Giffer revolution has started with a whimper and the kids haven't got their deliveries yet. This is 2009, the days
of sitting around smoking and drinking tea at work are long gone as are job security, guaranteed pensions and
all your other old fashioned management busting union conditions. If I was your management, I'd issue a letter
on monday morning, "anyone going on strike will be dismissed. If you want to re-apply for your job at a later
date, there will be no guarantee that your position hasn't already been filled as there are 2.5 million people
officially unemployed and another 3 million on various other benefits, some of who would love to do your jobs".
 
While most of the UK will not be experiencing strike action until later this week, my business has had disrupted
mail deliveries for 2 months now and it's a pain in the ass.
 
COME ON POSTIES, we love you but you are being led by a modern day Arthur Scargill into certain
defeat.......PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!

16. October 2009 - Well the lads have lined up the special surprise guests for the album launch party -' who is it?'
I hear you ask - well you'll just have to come down and see - it's a surprise. I'll give you one clue though - it's not
Gizmo and the kids will love it!

15 October 2009 - were working getting some special guests to play the 100 Club with us and the Lambrettas -
watch this space for further developments.

14 October - There has been a lot of rumour, gossip on forums, emails and invitations flying around Facebook
by other people saying what we are doing for the launch party but rest assured it is as we announced.

After we know what we're doing (sometimes at least)

13 October 2009 - An album launch party is in order and this is the plan. Fiddlers Elbow 1st November we're
playing of course, but we also have OPERATOR 6 and the PURPLE HEARTS on the bill DJ skills will be supplied
by Eddie Piller - it costs £8 on the door and you can't pre-book tickets. Doors open at 7:30pm and as this will be
packed I'd get there early!! Not only that you'll get a FREE Long Tall Shorty badge!!

Be part of the Giffer Revolution - What more could you ask for!!!!

11 October 2009 – A quiet Sunday night is in order, unless you took the suggestion and you’re still in Amsterdam
 – can anybody tell me why it takes longer to get from Heathrow on the tube than it does to fly from the north of
Scotland?

So why not cuddle up with a Horlicks and listen to The LTS interview with Garry Bushell. Hear about Max
Splodge’s head exploding, affairs of the heart and the size of Mark E Ramone’s dick.

Click HERE for the Long Tall Shorty Live Interview

10 October 2009 – Had a lovely dinner last night with Missy Mac Giffer, breakfast was equally good!

On the continent, Super Mario is going to see if he can sort out a date in Como for end of year the tour – that’ll
get the girlies going, in the hope that Mr Clooney is at home, better still at the gig – Go for it Go Go!

If you’re looking for something to do tonight drive on down to Dover to see Springtide Cavalry’s last gig with
support form the Purple Chords – if you don’t fancy that, keep driving onto the ferry, turn left at Calais, go to
Amsterdam and buy some drugs.

09 October 2009 – Nothing happening in London this weekend, so it’s off to see the gorgeous Missy Mac Giffer
'At The Weekend'. Got to Scotland and by George it’s rather chilly up here. Had to go into the local café for some
fortifications after the early morning flight and witnessed a local lassie order a double fried breakfast with “marg
not butter” as “I’ve got to watch the cholesterol” Scotland the land of the brave where the food is positively
dangerous.

Also in the news Big M got busted yesterday but in true Giffer stylie gave a false name and address so avoided
on the spot the fine – Top Giffer tip of the day learn an address/postcode that matches and use that in case they
do a security check - Giffer!!

08 October 2009 - Well today’s the day that you’ve all been waiting for – not that that it’s stopped raining so you
can go and stand out-side the pub at lunchtime – go on just do it, could be the last chance you get this year!
Standing outside in the sunshine with a pint in your hand (or a half for the ladies) fag in the other feeling the
warmth of the sunshine on your back, shades on and not looking like a twat because it dark and raining – what
more can you want out of life!

Thought I would look at NME online this morning and saw the news that Devendra Banhart has announced a
new tour, not wanting to feel out of touch with the kids I thought I would look it up and listen to some toons –
Recommended music to be avoided at all costs this week award goes to that bearded wanker – he could do with
a shave and a fuzz box up his arse. No wonder the world’s in the mess that it is – I blame Simon Cowell for this
and the recent sumani, dropped his ego into the sea off California and the resulting surge caused destruction
in Asia.

The other news is a clump of Elvis Presley’s hair is to go up on auction and is expected to fetch £9 grand. Nine
grand for a clump of hair!!!! When Big Tone reads that the remaining clump at the front’s going to be off and on
eBay like shot.

Talking about Big Tone – he’s tracking down a new Gibson. (That’s hardly news, it would be more newsworthy
if he wasn’t in the bidding for a new guitar – Ed)

Oh yeah I nearly forgot – the album’s out today.

07. October - Rumour has it that our mates The Purple Hearts will be splitting again – we can’t let this happen.

Why don’t we start a facebook petition “Don’t let the Hearts go away” then while we’re at it there are a few others
which need to be created. “Make it the same price to hire the 100 Club all nights of the week so Blocky doesn’t
moan about going out on a Sunday”, “Let Mercy in Nuts Magazine” and speaking of nuts “Make it a criminal
offence that if you see Simon Cowell in the street, not to kick him in the nuts”

06. October – The photo session for LTS’s other band “The Gonads” went well yesterday. Thanks to Lisa for
doing the photos and crawling around the floor in a thoroughly professional manner. It was wet, so the session
 took place inside the boozer, before the weather dried up enough for us to visit a couple of local sex shops
(for photographic purposes only!) Big Tone showed up briefly, pocket’s bulging full of cash before disappearing
to “do a deal on a Gibson” having had an altercation on the way there in the Jag-oo-ar. He was last seen
ramming it into bollards in Soho “well if I damage every panel, they might write it off !”

Jim & Lisa were the last to leave hope he remembered his brolly.

Recommended pub of the week – The John Snow in Broadwick Street for allowing the photo session indoors
and selling lager at £2.16 per pint - in Soho!!

05. October 2009 After a flurry of emails into Giffer Central asking to reveal the identity of the Giffer Kid I can
disclose – some say he has a collection of ageing guitars & riffs to match, some say he’s got a beard but he’s no
crusty, some say he looks rather fetching in a PVC catsuit, but all we know is he is the collective consciousness
of Giffer that lies within us all.

This weeks recommended listening is The X Rippers "Pop Idol" - why it wasn't picked up for Radio 1 airplay
I'll never know. You can check it out here www.myspace.com/thelegendaryxrippers

4. October 2009 The lads headed off last night to play the Winter Warmer Snooter Rally in Skegness. First
signs were not good - when they arrived after the long drive they found that the venue had spelt the band name
incorrectly & two sets were required but with the wealth of material in the back catalogue & new album to draw
from they were not put off, set up & sound checked regardless.

Things looked like they were looking up when the lads cracked into the classic set opener “That Ain’t All” and the
Manageress immediately ran to the front & started to po-go like a demented Sid Vicious. However, at the end of
the ditty, it became clear she was trying to get the music turned down because it was drowning out some of the
locals conversations about their cabbages. (In the spirit of Editorial fairness we must point out that not all people
from Lincolnshire are in-bred & not all the conversations were about cabbages, some were indeed about
Cauliflowers – Ed) A brief discussion ensued between Big Tone and the Manageress before the lads blasted i
nto the second song of the set “Turn It Up” and the battle lines were drawn. Lessons learned through the night
included: An Ashdown Mag 300 with a 4 x 12 & 1 X15 can produce the same decibel level as a jet fighter taking
off, Two guitar amps are indeed louder than one & the harder you hit the drums the louder they go.

After the sets were concluded & money demanded with menaces, Tony shot off into the night in a hurry to see if
his investment in a scooter signed by Jenson Button had paid off & could go on eBay today & find a take-away
open. With the nose of a bloodhound he honed in on the Golden Arches in Spalding which is open to 4am then
radioed back the good news to the following convoy.

Thanks go out to the kids who came to see us especially Jase, Maria & Gary for taking time off from his quest to
get pissed in every pub in UK, the kids who I don’t know the names of & the locals who enjoyed the mayhem.

Skegness has been Giffered!

Plans were also hatched during the night for a Record launch party – details to follow when finalised, the creation
of award for “Services Over & Above The Cause Of Giffer”, worldwide domination & a new range of amps which
go to 12.

03 October 2009 - After extensive late night negotiations which involved 12 cans of Lowenbrau and 2 Bottles of
Chianti (well if the lads are going to tour Germany/Italy later in the year they might as well get used to the local
tipples) it looks like they have lined up a gig in Dusseldorf for the final date on the week long tour.

Word has hit Giffer Central that our mates The Gonads have been lined up for a showcase gig at the Garage 5th
December with the UK Subs – don’t bring the missus to that one Gal!

Shorty are heading off to tonight’s gig in sunny Skegness. More details tomorrow when they return.

02 October 2009 - there are reported sightings of a pirate Blackbeard in Sidcup today - watch out! With that and
 the Chinese nuclear missile carriers with wall tyres it's becoming a dangerous world.

 01. October 2009 - Welcome to the new Long Tall Shorty website – the home of Giffer Punk.

This is of course the news page where you’ll be filled in with the thrills and spills of the world of Giffer on
a daily basis.

Why a new website? I hear you ask.

Well it was planned nearly a year a go when Big Tone had to renew the domain name for the current LTS site.
He went down to the office to pay the dues, (he only deals in cash and used guitars you see, “credit card – the
taxman might see that”) opened his wallet to pay and they refused to take the white fivers he had been saving
especially for the occasion. Then after having to pay in real money, fell into a deep depression - hence the lack
of gigs at the start of 2009.

So to set the scene what’s happening in the world of Giffer??

Well the big news is the new album of course – The Sound Of Giffer City – is being released on the 8th October
on Time For Action Records.  Details of how to purchase it are somewhere else on the site and to be honest I
can’t be bothered to type them out again.

There’s gigs coming up in the next few weeks in sunny Skegness, Copthorne then back to the 100 Club on the
15th November to play with their mates the Lambrettas who they supported at their successful comeback gig at
Modrophenia earlier in the year. See the tour news section for full details – bloody hell this is like having a real
website!

Then I’m sure they’ll do something before heading off to Europe for the end of year European tour. The tour starts on Boxing Day in Duisburg then heads off to Rome, Torino and Genova for new year’s eve.
Well let’s face it Christmas at home is pretty boring, all you do is sit around watch crap telly, eat food and drink.
Worse still the kids are off school, so you have to put up with the little blighters for a fortnight “Bugger that!” the lads thought so off they go on a jolly round Europe – much more fun. More dates are currently
being negotiated so watch the news feeds for details and come out, palm the kids off with the grandparents, (they’ll like it or it will kill them and that brings you closer to the inheritance) and have some fun.
I have been told LTS were offered dates on Christmas Eve and Christmas day itself, they wanted to go but the
collective “Women of Giffer” refused and under threat of divorce, getting a job and having to do their own washing
and ironing they conceded. Not very Giffer I know – but Gifferettes on Christmas day when you shout to your
menfolk “it’s time to carve the turkey” and there’s no reply, check the guitar racks they might have slipped out to
have some fun!

Talking about fun - there’s the story about Kiria but I’ll leave that till tomorrow in case I haven’t got anything else to
write.

That’s all for now see you soon. The Giffer Kid

p.s. I nearly forgot, I’ve got the chance to say “FUCK OFF SIMON COWELL

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